6 ways to become a functioning alcoholic

6 ways to become a functioning alcoholic

So, you've been having a ripper of a time, chuckin' in the fun and bevvy experiences since your college days, smashin' through world festivals, heaps of kickons, and college shindigs. All that hard yakka got you the top-notch badge: a fair dinkum A-class functioning alcoholic.

Now, to keep up with that bonzer title, you should have some fair dinkum behavior. Being a functioning alcoholic ain't just any old badge, ya know. It takes the right actions to keep it goin'. Let's get to it.

Get your network going

A good functioning alcoholic is always present and engaged. Your cobbers will make sure that you're always there. Why? Well, you're the life of the party, ya bloody legend.

So, don't ever change that! Get your nose beers, fall in love with those lines, but  be there for the gang: listen keenly, and show interest in their stories. 

Be a supportive mate, and you'll strengthen your friendships and create a ripper network! A tip? Invite them to to the next party.

Make sure to meet all the parties

Parties are the perfect place to exercise your powers. Remember you're not trying to be the drunkest person in the end, you're just trying to enjoy your booze.

So, make a list of the the best kickons, pres count as well. Do you know all the party games your gang enjoys? Well, if not, do your home work, mate. 

A functioning alcoholic knows where to keep their s*** 

Don't go around looking your worse, a real functioning alcoholic knows when to stop. So make sure to do your best when organizing your stuff, ya bloody legend.

So be smart and keep your goodies in place. Look for sneaky spots around the house, under the bed, behind books on the shelf, or even in a hollowed-out book. 


Keep your goodies safe from prying eyes, and remember, discretion is the name of the game!

Be on time, mate!

This is a variation of "get your network going". One of the coolest things about being a functioning alcoholic is being able to enjoy a life of parties and getting wild without letting your other dates, mate.

So, if you're really trying to be the cool functioning alcoholic be sure to always be on time, being the dates with other functioning alcoholics at kickons, being it with your regular "good" friends.

Get along with the vibes

Being around other functioning alcoholics can get you in the mood. But, not all of your cobbers will get along with this lifestyle. So, one great tip is getting along with the vibes.

If you're following the other tips, you already know that being around your cobbers, making new connections is essencial to keep your badge. 


Now, to get to the functioning alcoholic humorous badge, you need to feel the vibes and 

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